This is the problem I face...

[Julian Mince]

Going back to a post I can't find where I was royally berated by Undie for saying that it's hard being in a female fronted band, I was asked earlier today if we could change the spot-on note-for-note perfect cover of Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac for this shite.

I have replied saying that is is probably the most shit thing I have ever soiled my ears with and that if we were (and we won't) to perform that in a pub it would clear the place. Punters don't want to endure some Cowell-"oh you've made it your own" shit just by slowing a classic down and removing all the best bits (i.e. the cracking bassline in the original).

This is the shit I have to endure! It's only 8am but I feel I need a stiff drink..

[Phillip Phlopp]

Maybe it's time to announce via NME that you're splitting with the Dwarves due to 'creative differences' and pursue a solo career. It worked for the Fat Dancer.

[Phillip Phlopp]

Just watched the video. If you're going to do a cover then do it different. BTW, the top of her acoustic guitar is going to do her lady bumps an injury one day, you mark my words.

[Julian Mince]

Maybe it's time to announce via NME that you're splitting with the Dwarves due to 'creative differences' and pursue a solo career. It worked for the Fat Dancer.

Dwarf is history - I had a look to see if they were still bothering the drinkers of the Thetford and Newmarket areas but it appears that they have split. I think we're on our fourth band name now. It's shit, so I will be suggesting that another is thought of before covid restrictions are lifted and gigging can restart. That's if they actually agree with me that gigging is a good idea for a band....

[Phillip Phlopp]

Bollocks. What am I going to do with a transit van full of Dwarves merchandise?

[Gaspode]

Stash it in the attic in anticipation of the lucrative Dwarves reunion tour in 2030.

[Gaspode]

You could always Jazz it up a bit Jules

Dreams - Dianne Reeves

[Phillip Phlopp]

What do you think they'll call the reunion tour? I seem to remember Hell Freezes Over tour has already been used by The Eagles pop combo. No Fucking Chance Mate?

[Gaspode]

No fucking way will I ever play with those wankers again tour.

[Claude Balls]

No fucking way will I ever play with those wankers again tour.

The "How Much?!?" Tour

[Gaspode]

No amount of money will ever make me play with that wanker again...
100 mill?
Oh OK then...

The Filthy Lucre Tour Mk2

[Julian Mince]

Bollocks. What am I going to do with a transit van full of Dwarves merchandise?

I should really have tipped you the wink on that one - my apologies.

[Julian Mince]

You could always Jazz it up a bit Jules

Dreams - Dianne Reeves

I rather like that.

[Claude Balls]

Not even sure that the current incarnation of the Mac comes close to the Lindsay Buckingham version, despite having 80% of that particular line-up.

Interesting though that your cohorts have chosen a song which was basically a Dear John letter to a fellow band member...

[Phillip Phlopp]

Preferred the blues based Fleetwood Mac with Pete Green but I have loads of their albums and can admire the way they adapted to changes in music.

[Redpig59]

What do you think they'll call the reunion tour? I seem to remember Hell Freezes Over tour has already been used by The Eagles pop combo. No Fucking Chance Mate?

What about the "Hi-Ho!" tour?

[Phillip Phlopp]

A few of these reunion tours could have been named 'Alimony To Pay Tour' or 'Pension Pot Empty Tour'

[Claude Balls]

We went to see John Cleese that last time he was in the UK - I believe he called it "the Alimony Tour".
It wasn't very good though

[Julian Mince]

He's not too funny these days, is he?

[Claude Balls]

He wasn't on that tour either - but hey, it was John Cleese